paint – Page 11 – Underwater Madness

let’s talk about seattle for a second

February 16, 2012February 15, 2012 Caroline Hobbs2 Comments

Look: I live in Seattle. It is a well known and popular fact that Seattle is a right rainy mess and one should never leave the house without an umbrella. It is also understood that anyone who walks with an umbrella in Seattle is an incompetent fop.

After realizing that my life in Seattle was going to be spent either underwater or under judgement, I opted for the first adopted an octopus to keep me company in all the ensuing underwater madness (although I may have been trying to buy an umbrella and simply misspoke).

Now (like any normal octopus owner) I take it on regular walks, outings, and excursions. All in the rain of course. I wouldn’t want my dear Umbrella drying out which is why I hate it when it stops raining in Seattle. If we’ve been out walking, I have to take my poor octopus on the bus to go home as soon as possible, or Umbrella the octo gets just so cranky. It is also a well known fact that you can’t take an octo on a fixie (which of course I ride).

If there is any universal truth to our world, it is this and only this: octopi and busses don’t mix. Oh, that and never carry an umbrella you aren’t willing to abandon when the weather changes.

waiting for the bus — why are we even talking about this?

BY THE WAY. If you do happen to live in Seattle, make sure you continue to live here through March. I will be part of the Capitol Hill Art Walk on March 8th.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, don’t worry. Not all of us are hip Seattlites. It doesn’t mean I’m judging you.

REALLY.

this has nothing to do with anything. also it’s a double feature!

February 11, 2012 Caroline Hobbs2 Comments

I’m not going to lie–I’m a total fucking hipster. When I paint sassy fish I listen to sad indie bands while wearing a knit hat that I found on the street, all the while drinking PBR and complaining about how sheepleish it is when people say sheeple. Big black glasses and skinny jeans? Absofuckinglutely.

But there is one person more hip than I. He’s so hip that he has a cult that’s probably made up entirely of indie bands that got their start in Manhattan. You’ve probably never heard of it, it’s pretty fhtagn underground.

How many great old ones does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, it’s a pretty unspeakable number, you’d probably go mad after hearing only the first horrible syllable.

this is what sperm whales do

February 4, 2012June 13, 2013 Caroline Hobbs2 Comments

And it is all they do as far as I am concerned.

i jizz in my pod 2 — two’s company! cum-pany? come punny- GET IT? D:

Oh Moby Dick. I know why you got that name.

koi is still coy

January 31, 2012January 31, 2012 Caroline Hobbs1 Comment

I’ve been working through a few of my old paintings and dolling them up. Here is a favorite redone–

narwhals are the best thing forever

January 28, 2012January 28, 2012 Caroline Hobbs2 Comments

Let me tell you a story.

One night a very long time ago, back when I was a different person (last night to be precise) I came home to my apartment, which is a smallish one bedroom in Seattle. My life will forever be divided into the ‘before’ and ‘after.’

Feeling sleepy, lazy, and–I’m not going to lie–a little horny, I took to a bottle of red wine like a puffin takes to unprofessionalism and started doodling.

Take this as a reminder never to drink and draw.

Sometimes when you doodle, important questions spring to mind. Important questions that shouldn’t be asked. Questions about color and perspective, about whether Dali’s mustache was a demon, and about whether it’s more fun to hate on or defend modern art.

Questions like would you rather fuck the aurora borealis or a rainbow. Excuse me, would you rather fuck a rainbow with a mullet? YES or VERY YES. Party in the back indeed.

Oh, and by the way, you’re a flying fucking narwhal.

YOU’RE WELCOME WORLD

By the way–which one would you rather fuck? I’m torn. In the worst possible way.