Category: Puns

announcing slightly sacrilegious sundays!

Caroline HobbsLeave a comment

Instead of giving something up, for Lent this year I’m going to add something to my life and yours: Slightly Sacrilegious Sundays!

Stay tuned every Sunday for something snarky about, I don’t know, how about religion.

WHY NOT

Let’s start by making this lamprey a priest!

Now clearly, I’m a very religious person. On Friday I go to the Mollosque. On Saturday you can find me reading from the Talmudpuppy. On Sunday I sing in a coral group.

But I never could get the hang of Catholicism and the Holy Sea and all that stuff. I think it was the way priests had 3 rows of teeth.

confession is startlingly similar to being eaten by the priest...

there are reasons why i’ll never get into politics

Caroline HobbsLeave a comment

Look people, I know you want me to run for office. I’d be great as a Rebubblican, or even a Democracken candidate, really. I’m attractive to Right Whales and the Working Wrasse (Hammerheads included). I’m a pro-lifer and a pro-cloister. I have strong family values AND I support Rainbow Trout marriage. I’ve already had my share of nudibranch and humpback scandals, so obviously I have sex appeal.

Still–please save your votes and put them towards a more serious candidate. Someone you eel will represent your agenda and hopefully won’t just lamprey on fear. Hope and Conch and all.

As for my political future, I’ll never get into office because I made some controversial paintings of Che Guevara scuba diving in my youth.

apologies for shitty spanish in the caption!

And then there was the whole Octopi movement thing. *sigh*

i think if we just throw octopi at everyone they will agree with us. right?

this has nothing to do with anything. also it’s a double feature!

Caroline Hobbs2 Comments

I’m not going to lie–I’m a total fucking hipster. When I paint sassy fish I listen to sad indie bands while wearing a knit hat that I found on the street, all the while drinking PBR and complaining about how sheepleish it is when people say sheeple. Big black glasses and skinny jeans? Absofuckinglutely.

But there is one person more hip than I. He’s so hip that he has a cult that’s probably made up entirely of indie bands that got their start in Manhattan. You’ve probably never heard of it, it’s pretty fhtagn underground.

hello there skinny jeans!

How many great old ones does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, it’s a pretty unspeakable number, you’d probably go mad after hearing only the first horrible syllable.

so hip!