pufferfucked, a love story

Once upon a time there was a lonely little pufferfish. He thought life was pretty much the wrong side of a wedge of cheese. And, convinced that he would never find love, he puffed his sorry bum across the oceans, inventing new names for nihilism and imagining himself pretty clever.

Sometimes life surprises you though, and no amount of philosophical training can prepare you to ignore the first glimpses of love. One day our little pufferfish found it–a hopeful little heart glowing in the deepest reaches of the sea (geographers have since found that the only place conditions are perfect for love is in those underwater caverns too deep for people). He puffed up with joy and went in for a kiss-

IT'S A METAPHOR FOR REAL LOVE YOU GUYS

 

we are the 99%!

Marine inequality is at the highest level it’s been since the 1960s. While a lucky octopus may have 8 arms, each nautilus has over 90. That’s over TEN TIMES THE AMOUNT OF ARMS.

Nautiluses shell themselves in luxurious golden spirals, while the rest of cephalopod-kind go without even basic clothing.

They haven’t evolved for millions of years, so why should we expect them to now?

It’s time these living fossils went extinct.

OCTOPUS WALL STREET!

wall street is in the indo-pacific ocean right?