I’ve always been bad at innuendo.
The giant squid is a harmless creature and will not drag you out of bed at night–tentacles dripping, its alien eyes looking for a tasty treat. Please can we keep it?
Let’s be honest. Anglerfish are scarier than clowns, serial killers, and Lady Gaga combined. The sharp teeth… the effervescence… the absorption of sexual partners… *shiver*
I’d certainly hate it if one of those showed up on my matt trick-or-treating. Not that I’m planning on bringing one to your house, you horrible, multiple-lover-absorbing cheater. I’d just like you to notice the commonalities you share.
.! is going to be the name of my new indie band. It’s a pretty unspeakable punctuation, you’ve probably never heard of it.
So I’m a preschool teacher sometimes. One day, I hear an argument about whether it’s pronounced ‘amenome’ or ’emomeny’, and I step in to mediate, because that’s a legitimate question.
I say, “Actually friends, it’s an anemone.”
One of the girls looks away. The other stares coldly into my eyes and says, “That hurts my feelings.”
One day she may produce beautiful art.