happy halloween

it's cute you think this is a costume

Let’s be honest. Anglerfish are scarier than clowns, serial killers, and Lady Gaga combined. The sharp teeth… the effervescence… the absorption of sexual partners… *shiver*

I’d certainly hate it if one of those showed up on my matt trick-or-treating. Not that I’m planning on bringing one to your house, you horrible, multiple-lover-absorbing cheater. I’d just like you to notice the commonalities you share.

amemome is not a real word

So I’m a preschool teacher sometimes. One day, I hear an argument about whether it’s pronounced ‘amenome’ or ’emomeny’, and I step in to mediate, because that’s a legitimate question.

I say, “Actually friends, it’s an anemone.”

One of the girls looks away. The other stares coldly into my eyes and says, “That hurts my feelings.”

One day she may produce beautiful art.