Please internet–leave me puns in the comments.
Instead of giving something up, for Lent this year I’m going to add something to my life and yours: Slightly Sacrilegious Sundays!
Stay tuned every Sunday for something snarky about, I don’t know, how about religion.
Let’s start by making this lamprey a priest!
Now clearly, I’m a very religious person. On Friday I go to the Mollosque. On Saturday you can find me reading from the Talmudpuppy. On Sunday I sing in a coral group.
But I never could get the hang of Catholicism and the Holy Sea and all that stuff. I think it was the way priests had 3 rows of teeth.
So I’m a preschool teacher sometimes. One day, I hear an argument about whether it’s pronounced ‘amenome’ or ’emomeny’, and I step in to mediate, because that’s a legitimate question.
I say, “Actually friends, it’s an anemone.”
One of the girls looks away. The other stares coldly into my eyes and says, “That hurts my feelings.”
One day she may produce beautiful art.