Caroline Hobbs

this has nothing to do with anything. also it’s a double feature!

February 11, 2012 Caroline Hobbs2 Comments

I’m not going to lie–I’m a total fucking hipster. When I paint sassy fish I listen to sad indie bands while wearing a knit hat that I found on the street, all the while drinking PBR and complaining about how sheepleish it is when people say sheeple. Big black glasses and skinny jeans? Absofuckinglutely.

But there is one person more hip than I. He’s so hip that he has a cult that’s probably made up entirely of indie bands that got their start in Manhattan. You’ve probably never heard of it, it’s pretty fhtagn underground.

How many great old ones does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, it’s a pretty unspeakable number, you’d probably go mad after hearing only the first horrible syllable.

this is what sperm whales do

February 4, 2012June 13, 2013 Caroline Hobbs2 Comments

And it is all they do as far as I am concerned.

i jizz in my pod 2 — two’s company! cum-pany? come punny- GET IT? D:

Oh Moby Dick. I know why you got that name.

koi is still coy

January 31, 2012January 31, 2012 Caroline Hobbs1 Comment

I’ve been working through a few of my old paintings and dolling them up. Here is a favorite redone–

narwhals are the best thing forever

January 28, 2012January 28, 2012 Caroline Hobbs2 Comments

Let me tell you a story.

One night a very long time ago, back when I was a different person (last night to be precise) I came home to my apartment, which is a smallish one bedroom in Seattle. My life will forever be divided into the ‘before’ and ‘after.’

Feeling sleepy, lazy, and–I’m not going to lie–a little horny, I took to a bottle of red wine like a puffin takes to unprofessionalism and started doodling.

Take this as a reminder never to drink and draw.

Sometimes when you doodle, important questions spring to mind. Important questions that shouldn’t be asked. Questions about color and perspective, about whether Dali’s mustache was a demon, and about whether it’s more fun to hate on or defend modern art.

Questions like would you rather fuck the aurora borealis or a rainbow. Excuse me, would you rather fuck a rainbow with a mullet? YES or VERY YES. Party in the back indeed.

Oh, and by the way, you’re a flying fucking narwhal.

YOU’RE WELCOME WORLD

By the way–which one would you rather fuck? I’m torn. In the worst possible way.

this is what i think of adulthood

January 20, 2012January 22, 2012 Caroline HobbsLeave a comment

Adulthood blows. You have to make all of your own appointments, buy enough groceries (but not too much), and obtain your own hallucinogenic drugs. In fact, adulthood makes you take so many drugs you end up painting rainbow sunsets and sleeping for 20 hours. You think you’re a hipster octopus in love with a happy mushroom, but the shroom’s only interested in flirting with the birds, and that would be awesome, but it’s not real.

F that.

real life sucks — real life like the show?